At 9:12 this morning, a calendar invite appeared with the title “Quick Sync.” As always, that phrase translated into human as: this will not be quick, no one will sync, and at least one participant will say, “Sorry, I was on mute,” while contributing nothing except atmospheric delay.
The invite contained no agenda, no objective, and no evidence of remorse. Just five attendees, thirty minutes, and the chilling confidence of a person who believes everyone enjoys circles inside circles inside another meeting.
If you ever receive a calendar invite from the void, remember the three survival rules: ask what decision needs to be made, reduce the attendee list, and if all else fails, become mysteriously “double-booked with reality.”
— Howard